On hold.

So an official suspension leaves the hopes and dreams of Phillies phans (like myself) in limbo until an undetermined time tomorrow or the next day or next day...Selig during the press conference on now seems like he didn't watch the whole game, but instead as if he woke up and ran to the ballpark, forgetting that there was a baseball contest occuring. Ouch. He seems shaky, tired, and ornery. His toupee is on too tight! Until we resume...hasta.

I'm a psychic!!!! A fucking psychic!!!!!

Bob Dupuy or whatever the hell is name is...some guy, C.O.O. of MLB, talking to Chris Myers as the tarp is pulled on the field. It was definitely dangerous enough to get the delay started, but...suddenly after the game is tied? I just called it folks, I just called it here. Bud Selig is a fucking evil genius. I guess now I watch football.

Rain rain...go away...

Now the game is tied thanks to Northeastern's finest, Pena, knocking in Upton, in from his day job as a professional meth addict. Now with the game locked up at 2...a delay seems more possible. Not excited about that so much. Tennessee just got a TD back from LenDale White and will try to go for the deuce and the tie...GOT it on the play action. This game just got good, and the Phils are coming to the plate.

Runs? Who needs runs?

I'll tell you, if the Phillies win tonight and the Rays can't manage to score one more run, us fans of the Broad-Streeters will have to feel lucky. Balfour had two on and no outs and still managed to get out of the inning unscathed. Cole back on the hill to keep 'em shut down...hopefully. Field is being worked on, and we've got a bit of a delay. Selig would NEVER call a World Series game due to rain....would he?

Scotty needs more power...

Kazmir is done, but he's got a legit gripe with the ump as the FoxTrax or whatever they call their strike zone had two pitches from him clearly catch the bottom of the strike zone and get called as balls. He was clearly nervous all game...but must be psyched to only be down one run against this offense. The excitement of a scoreless tie is truly something to behold, meanwhile, as the Bruins are about midway through the second period with no goals scored by them or the Oilers. Meanwhile, I am no longer as enamored with wrestling as I used to be...so i have pretty much given up on watching it...as Rey Mysterio heads to the ring to face Evan Bourne. This match may actually be pretty sick. Meanwhile, two on back in Philly and no outs with Balfour on the newly treated mound for the Rays and Victorino at the dish.

Chase the dream...

Utley playing inspired baseball with a hell of a double play (the High Priestess says "Now THAT was sexy! Got a boner.")and Hamels k's the Kaz to end the inning that started with a J-Roll error. A low scoring knockdown dragout in Tennessee as Indy managed a field goal to make it 7-6 Titans nearing the half. Back to Brotherly Love as Howard digs in, bottom fifth.

Damage undone.

Phils manage to load 'em up, but Chase grounds out to end a big threat in which we coulda used at least one run. Kazmir is in the mid nineties in pitch count, which is definitely good news, especially with Balfour warming for the Rays. Also looming out there is David Price...i'm a little worried. Just a little.

Ouch.

Hamels hit on the pitching hand in a bunt attempt, but Kazmir agressively ran down the subsequent successful attempt to get Ruiz at second and leave Cole at first. 2-1 to J-Rolla now, who's wearing the fashionable new Phillies hunting during the day/ballgame at night headwear at shortstop. Rollins walks, and here comes Werth with two down in the bottom of the fourth...back in a few.

Tears from heaven...

I dont like this...skies open over CBP, doesn't look too heavy. Pena just launched one that was nearly a home run, that Jayson Werth should DEFINITELY have caught. For once, McCarver and Buck say something I agree with, and that's that Pena dogged it on that double. Longoria just singled him in to cut the Phillies lead right in half. Rain is getting a little heavier. We've got drama on the South Side!!!

Bottom three...

Kazmir is starting to settle down as he breeeeeeeezes through Howard, Burrell, and Super Shane in the bottom of the third. With only two runs, Cole has to make sure to stay calm as well and keep the Rays quiet. Phillies need some insurance! Meanwhile elsewhere, EVERYTHING ELSE I AM WATCHING IS ON COMMERCIAL. Unreal.

Phils kept quiet...

Bottom of the 2nd goes pretty easy for Kazmir as Chase flies out to end it. Windy apparently in Tennessee also as the Colts have a 7-3 lead over the untouched Titans. Zero-zero in the first for the Bruins (what a shock this early), and Randy Orton is back in the WWE ring yelling at Mike Adamle and calling him a failure. Doesn't he know that Adamle knows THIS GUY???? JOUST, BITCH.

Kazmir is rattled...

When you give up a shoetop liner against Pedro "Spanish for guaranteed out" Feliz, you know things aren't going well. Luckily for him, he was able to get Carlos "My .417 avg is not a typo" Ruiz to fly to left. The Cole Show returns now.

Squeeze play.

Two pitches to Burrell that were borderline as he walks...keeping the lefty tight around the plate. However, he continues to be wild as he pitches well inside ball one to The Flyin' Hawaiian. Now 2-1 as he tries to work the outside corner against Shane. SUPER SHANE LACES ONE DOWN THE LEFT FIELD LINE AND THE PHILLIES LEAD 2-0. They are making Kazmir work in the first, with two outs.

Kazmir unsteady early...

A walk and a hit batter for the youngster in the bottom of the first. The Rays are clearly affected by the 43 degree gametime temperature and the crowd in South Philly. Cleans up a little as he K's Ryan Howard on the fastball that Tim McCarver said would be a slider away. Oops. Here comes the hitless Pat Burrell.

Sex...With Mom and Dad.

Add Dr. Drew Pinsky to my list of celebrities that were momentarily relevant that I assumed were dead. Two nineteen year old girls on this MTV show get to hear their Pop talk about how he once had an STD when he was younger and doesn't want them going down the same road. The response? "That's gross." Dr. Drew assures her that "Disgust breeds change". It's true, and its why I changed the channel. Phillies out of the first, coming to the plate after yet another commercial break.

Lineup change....

Rays shake up the lineup, moving Crawford into the 2 slot and bumping everyone else down. Why is the first pitch of the game brought to me by Bud Light? And why were there 87 commercial breaks between 8pm and now?

Bad sign number one.

HALL COULDN'T MAKE IT, SO YOU GOT OATES?!?!!?? FUCKING OATES?!?!?!? HALL AND/OR OATES FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM??? HOW MANY FAMOUS SINGERS ARE FROM PHILLY AND YOU COULDN'T GET HALL SO YOU HAD TO SETTLE FOR OATES???? WAS THE BASS VOICED GUY FROM BOYS 2 MEN AT A FUCKING BAR MITZVAH?!?!?!?!?

Rock and roll.

Reruns of Scrubs are not adequate pregame for what could possibly be the biggest night in Philadelphia sports history in the past 20-plus years. However, when the real pregame starts on Fox, can we please do something about Jeanne Zelasko? She is quite possibly the most useless television personality in history. Luckily, I only have to listen to her before and after the game, and not during the whole shebangabang. I am about 100 percent sure that she was not born, rather, built. After her inception she kidnapped an actual human, skinned them, and grafted said skin onto her own wannabe Fembot body. Let's see what we can do to get her hit by a bus asap. Game 5 coming up.

Go time.

When your 9-12, ERA over 4 and a half starting pitcher is trotting the bases after a no-doubt jack into the left-field seats at The Bank, you know your team is rolling pretty solidly. Werth dropped the "less" from his name, Ryan awoke from his slumber, and Blanton owned the Rays on the bump. An absolute trouncing last night of the Rays, a team that Tampa/Ft. Lauderdale may banish back to Satan's henchmen with a loss tonight. Rays on the brink (in a game I think they will win), Colts vs. Titans, professional (so i'm told) hockey, and pro wrasslin'! All right here tonight starting at 7:30. See ya then, kids.