Why are my posts in gibberish?

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Arash about Scalabrine: "Look at those titties!"

Both teams playing a litttttle sloppy. Brian Shaw looks like he can still ball! He's like twelve years old.

Derek Fisher needs to retire that ugly jumper.

This just in....Bynum hurt himself being introduced. Kobe has the Kevin Hart "you just ate some ass" face.

Jeffrey Osborne kicks off our Finals coverage. He looks....uhhhhh....alive.

the experts say...

WAIT...

Jack...

Alls Wells that ends Wells...

Dead early.

Papi struggle-gate.