My pick = Death knell.

So I, as seen in my previous post, picked Butler for the mini upset against LSU...and of course they come out like molasses and are already down nine with less than two minutes played. LSU is playing lights out defense. Clark Kellogg is a filthy whore, by the way. I feel like a lot of people will be added to my "filthy whore" list today. Ooooh, they made a free throw! 9-1, Tigers. Next game, please.

My picks...

TODAY: Butler, Memphis, BYU, Purdue, UNC, Maryland, UCONN, Washington, Texas, Clemson, Villanova, Gonzaga, Duke, Oklahoma, Illiois, UCLA. Documented. Final answer.

Beware the Madness of March...

And so it begins. 64 teams, 63 disappointments and excuses. I'm at the Powerhouse in Brighton, MA, soon to be joined by Ray Ray Ray and some type of alcoholic beverage. Butler vs. LSU is game one! Watch along with me, kids. Coming up: all my selections, drunken ramblings, overreaction to referee mistakes, and much much more. By the way, that's my pick to win it all...Tyler Doucheboro might be an unholy douche, but still the best in the country. Lawson might be hurt but...I picked them so, they will lose anyway. What the hell. I'm all done with this stupid March Madness. I never win anything.

Bulldogs vs. Volunteers

Possibly the game of the day on CBS, Miss St. vs. Tennessee. 8 seconds left, MSU shooting two hitting both, and Tennessee is about to get the ball back after the break. HEY! Seminoles! You fucking let me down. Way down. Down town.

AAAAAAAAND NOOWWWWW...

YOUR REIGNING AND DEFENDING...WORLD CHAMPIONS OF BASEBALL....THE 2009 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!!!!!!!! Chan Ho Park didn't allow a run today!!! Nice. By the way, the UTSA team nickname is the Roadrunners. Yep. The Roadrunners. Meep meep.

Lumberjack match!

UTSA can't hit a three to save their lives...looks like Stephen F. Austin might hang on with less than six to go. Florida State??? Make me proud, I picked you in an upset. All adrenaline, baby! Douglas is sitting right now, but FSU still looking good. OHHH Jon Scheyer is ice ice baby. Three ball. But FSU answers. ITS A BACK AND FORTH DONNYBROOK!

Too close for comfort.

Flyers still losing, and the Celtics are a little too close to the Bucks. Did Marbury play in Milwaukee? And by play in, I mean ruin. Tommy Heinsohn just said something along the lines of "keeping a guy between your knees"...it's a stretch but...you could make it sexual. Think about it.

This just in...

Apparently, there's a women's March Madness also. I'm not upset about the lack of media coverage...i'm just upset that ESPN could've shown me programming information I gave a shit about. The Stephen F. Austin coach looks like a serial killer OR a child molester...or both, combined. He looks like he may have molested a serial killer.

Stephen F. Austin?

Who was Stephen F. Austin? I hope he was a lumberjack, because that's their team nickname. And if he was a lumberjack, why did he have a college? The college named after him is up on UTSA (Texas-San Antonio) by two in the Southland final. I can't WAIT for one of these teams to live the dream of losing to a 2-seed (likely UConn). And just in case I didn't make it clear...don't ever watch Jon and Kate Plus 8. Seriously. Ugh. 8 kids.

Jon and Kate plus someone kill me.

I managed to click over to Jon and Kate Plus 8 on the Learning Channel. They will be on until 3am. Here's what I've learned. Fuck 8 eight kids. Thanks, Learning Channel. And Kate is kind of a bitch.

Flyers...losing.

My Flyers are down 1 to the Rangers. Celtics are about to tip. I really wish I could take credit for this picture, but I found it on Google. Classic. Lakers vs. Mavericks is on later too...but right now, i'm watching Cult Killer on MSNBC. You should try it. It's about uhhh...a uhhh...Cult...killer.

The Atlantic Coast Conference.

Let's go Noles! Two look alikes involved with this game...Mike Gminski looks like fatter Stephen King, and Jon Scheyer looks like young Rik Smits. And I hate Greg Paulus. UGH I hate Greg Paulus. Does he even start? Fuck I hate that guy. Fuck him. Look at him. Now say the words. Fuck you, Greg Paulus.

Gaying it up.

I'm not happy with ESPN's College GameDay selection of Let It Rock as a theme song. I got out of the homosexual rave scene years ago and that song just reeks to high hell of it. I don't need X to enjoy a collegiate basketball game. My picks today...Tennessee, Purdue, FLORIDA STATE UPSET (Duke is super weak), Flyers, Celtics. Lotsa tip-offs momentarily, Flyers tied with the NY Rangers at a goose egg. Bullies baby.

Jay Bilas.

I think i'm developing a man crush on Jay Bilas. He just oozes bracktetology appeal. Fuck you, Joe Lunardi. So unattractive. On GameDay right now the discussion is fairly heated, which makes me think today will be a good day. Flyers, Bruins, Celtics, Big Ten/ACC/SEC/Southland finals to make the dance, Japan vs. Cuba in the WBC, AND BRACKETOLOGY!!! MY BRACKET!!! CRAZY SUNDAY, coming up at 1pm. Rece Davis just said "chinks".